Footsteps in the Hall.....

 

 

 

 

I took some blurry pictures in a rush, of the absolute last second Sylvi spent without a family. This was the day we went to pick her up, court decree in-hand, to pick her up from the Orphanage floor for the last time. She was sitting alone, in tight-pants pulled up to her armpits, all wet and smelly from who-knows-what? Dirty shirt, no diaper, sucking her thumb and staring at the door as we walked in. All alone, quiet and sad. But she was looking at the door, just before we came in. Did she hear our footsteps in the hall? Here she was, living her life, growing more sad. In a matter of seconds she was with us, for good. Forever. To her, it was just like that. We came and got her, and never left her again.

It amazes me, on this last night in Russia, what has happened to me. Everyone is sound asleep as I write this, getting ready for the big flight HOME tomorrow. I can turn around, and see Sylvi sleeping on her back next to Kaia. And she has this tiny smile on her face as she sleeps. It's there, I swear it.

She has no idea where we are going tommorrow. Where did last week's hotel go? What are these new places, cars, planes, walks, airports, embassy, Red Square, shopping, restaurants, ice cream? Today she got a balloon at the Hard Rock Cafe. She screamed in terror, until we all laughed and played with it. Then she loved it. All these new things, that used to scare her; they don't matter anymore. We are all there when she lays down to sleep, and when she wakes up-we are waiting. EVERY time. That is all she cares about now. She is so happy. Tonight, as we walked back here after dinner, talking about going home, we passed a bar that music was spilling out of. All of a sudden, she starts singing her baby song SO loud from my front-pack she was in. We clapped and howled at her-the boys, Glo, Kaia and I stopping, surrounding her, cheering for her. She laughed, screamed and raised her arms-so Proud and Thrilled! It made quite a scene. She sang the whole way home, stopping only to fall limp, asleep a block from the hotel.

I am so lucky, to be so blessed in this life. She is more than we dreamed, so beautiful and smart, funny, happy, gentle, sweet and loving. Perfect. That is the last picture-the picture of so much happiness in a little girl who, for 21 days-we weren't sure if she even had teeth, never smiled big enough to see, and never opened her mouth to even laugh. She was so sad, more than even we knew.

I forget a lot of moments in my life, things good and bad. Sometimes I remember more of the latter. But then, there are ones that get to you. Like that last moment she sat in filthy wet pants, lonely and sad. And then, never again. Just like that. It's a blurry picture, but so clear in my mind.

Good happens. God blesses us in different ways, some we see coming. Then others, well-they just show up . But maybe, there are sounds of footsteps in the hallway........

How can I ever forget?