Wednesday, April 29, 2009

"Clumsy Love"

She never tired of walking with them, or soaking-in their attention.


Can you see the akwardness of this? Like they didn't know what to do with their hands and arms. (They get that from me, I hate to admit. "Clumsy" isn't a great nickname in college with the ladies.)
But SO SINCERE.
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Moments


So tonight, at dinner, we talked about how there are a few moments you REALLY remember in life. Karl said today was his favorite day, ever. Trygve felt overcome when she reached out to him for the first time. We talked about how they will not forget this day, how big of a deal it is, that they are meeting Sylvi, who would forever be their sister. I told them how unique of a story they will always have the rest of their life. One that they will both have, and that Sylvi will never tire of hearing.

Incredible, how God works in all these little ways. Maybe it is us, making the best of the situation of time and waiting here. But, the way she was with us at first-and then how comfortable and open she was towards her brothers and aunt, that were complete strangers to this extremely shy girl-it makes you think that this played out the way it should have. Maybe this is a way of easing her into our lives, and us hers. Making us all understand a little better. The magnitude of today's meeting weighed on all our nervous minds before our visit. Except her. She was perfect.

She was hesitant at first, with a serious look on her face, and reached out for Trygve first. He was kneeling, so she grabbed around his neck to break her fall. He interpreted it as a hug, and his smile was HUGE-he was totally taken. He stood up hugging her cheek-to-cheek, the first time he has EVER picked up a person! He noticed how helpless and small she was, how she needed him to help her stand. He got so flushed he took his coat off immediately.

Karl was a bit shy. As soon as he held out his hand, she leaned out for him, and another 'hug', and then it was all over. Karl never left her side, bending over to walk her the entire time. Competing for her attention, laughing and desperate to make her just smile. She had two brothers that loved her. And an aunt that was close at hand, even got a little kiss. She loved to get picked up by Glo, and stared at her so closely, into her eyes.

We let them run with her-they never stopped playing. Kaia and I stayed back, resisting the urge to take our turn. At the end of two hours, the kids' faces were all smiles. I have this picture in my mind of her, the boys walking her back to the Orphanage doors, and she looks up at one, and then the other-with this totally proud look on her face. "Look at me, and look at what I've got."

That, I won't forget. When it clicked. Sylvi, Trygve and Karl. Our three kids, happy to have found one another at last. That moment.
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Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Kisses and Hugs!

She was Perfect today. It was like a dream-we hadn't seen her in two days, and she was SO thrilled to see us, and we picked right up where we left. Big day, lot's of lovin on mom, and smiles for dad. It was just great. Kaia is bringing some of her clothes-I think she just brightens up even with a bit of clean duds on!

Here in the picture, she just got done coming in for a big kiss for Kaia. It is still so amazing to be in the room when this is going on. She is taking to Kaia so well now-like she just lives for the hugging and touch, keeps turning, looking, and reaching for Kaia. Kind of like me, but much more smooth. And easier to watch.

Great news; tomorrow Glo and the boys get to meet her, outside! It is due to be in the 70's again, and so we are SO THRILLED for that. I can't wait-although we warn the boys how shy she is, it will still be so great to see them all with her. Glo has been so patient with the thousands of pictures and hours of talking about her. I can't wait for tomorrow!

I know Sylvi can't either; she is getting so happy to see us.
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Sunday, April 26, 2009

8 Days Far


Another day without seeing her. We took the boys and Glo on a big walk again today, as the weather is still very nice. We ended up finding our way to the O, and were able to show them where Sylvi lives now. Her's is the window we are closest to, on the upper floor. Felt wierd, not being able to just pound on the door, and demand our daughter. Or at least to see her. There is a guard, and I'm sure they all would be very upset if we tried to go in. Extremely upset. So we sat outside the fence for a while, just talking. Kind of confusing to the boys, even though they understand the situation. Heck-it's confusing to me, also. It was over an hour walk to the O from our hotel, maybe 3 or 4 miles.

This country is on it's way to becoming a modern place. But still, so much doesn't make sense. There is a huge seperation of people and government. Much more than we are accustomed to at home. Laws are NOT questioned, but accepted as the rule. We are stuck in a strange spot, still waiting. This absolutely makes no sense, is part of a broken system that no one bothers to fix.

Tomorrow is Tuesday, and we will see her again. Leaving her there, Saturday night, was hard. I want her to know that we tried, and are trying all the time, to get her out of there. In the picture, Karl is asking how far away we are, from her, right then.

About 8 days, Karl.
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Saturday, April 25, 2009

Super Size Me


We played another game of basketball, this time dozens of kids came out when we first showed up. Not a person on the court, no kids in sight, then we bounce the ball a few times and here they come! Some of the older kids have a few words in English, like "My name is ....". They line up at the side, waiting to play. We organize teams, so many want to play that it was 10 on 10! So funny-but everyone sweats it up, and they LOVE the boys playing. At the end, we had to go-after an hour and half, and said Paka Paka, Das Vadanya (Goodbye). They all chase us out, yelling 'You are my Friend', and shouts from behind some girls giggling, little girls: "I LOVE YOU!" We were all laughing, very funny. They all play bball like Hockey-if they get an Offensive rebound, instead of going back up to shoot, they dribble the ball out past half court to attack again. Very funny-they play a LOT of hockey here, no Basketball. But they all know Michael Jordan and Kobe, I point to them when they make a shot and say "Kobe" and they do a little dance. They asked for us to play again today, so will meet the gang down there at noon. Good to burn some of the sausage and cheese energy here.

That's a good one. The grub, we have figured out. We are mainly cooking in the apartment, and by 'we' I mean Glo. Cheeseburgers, tacos, fries, marinated chicken, on and on. So-it is pretty funny-they are skinny and trim here, I think because they don't have Glo. So, to feed the machine that is cooking right now in the kitchen as I type this, I go to the grocery store.

As you walk in (It IS a supercenter), you notice that everyone is leaving with bags the size of a small purse. Like maybe a single hot-dog and a bottle of beer, with a small ketchup packet on the side. Hmm. The checkout girl is SITTING on a stool, of all things, in front of this cute little conveyor belt for putting your item, or maybe items, on it. Like one bottle of Corona can fit on it, with your hot dog. The cart is very small, like a kids cart at Haggen, except taller.

So I go rolling in on an empty stomach. First mistake. So here goes. At first, I notice that you can't buy multiple beers. Just a single bottle. So I cover the bottom of the cart with 7 bottles of Corona rolling around loose. And then the Hot Dogs, which are singles-but the boys are riding on the sides of this pathetic little cart, and Karl shouts "I see BALL PARKS!" Ahh-in the freezer section, they sell a normal pack. Yes! Wait, are those Kit Kat candy bars frozen?!!

So it goes, like a super-shopping spree, until our cart is so loaded that the rolls, bread, candy, gum and cans of Pringles are falling off. There is no bottom rack.

By now, people are staring at us like we are naked. A hush falls through the whole store as I approach the checkout lines. There are three of them, and other shoppers are RUNNING to get there first, glancing back at us in terror. Oh boy. Here, the boys, my faithful companions, my support group that I could bark at every now and then just to seem normal, they desert me like a sinking ship. They feign interest in the frozen fish heads while I pilot this over-loaded cart in for slaughter. All three checkout girls avoid eye contact with me. Reminds me of Petersburg 8th grade dances, me with my tight Corduroys on.

Anyway-paying was a joke, a crowd gathered to watch, money was exchanged by onlookers, betting to see how much it would be, or if one of the bottles of beer would fall and break. I felt like laying my head on the checkout counter and passing out. Sweaty and hot-holy moly! I broke open one of the 8 single rolls of paper towels to wipe off with while she was ringing up. Several times things fell over, on the floor. "Who got the fireworks?!" I yell over to the frozen fish-head section. By the end, the poor checkout girl was standing up from her stool, let me tell you! Anyway-we figured it all out, everyone cheered when the last item rang up (I'm telling you, there was over 200 single items), and I am telling them in a weak voice "I should have gone to Costco?" and smile. There is no Costco, of course. They all shop daily, I now think. No one understands or laughs. I start threading my fingers through the plastic handles of the pile of bags, wait for the boys to come near to open BOTH doors so I can squeeze through without ripping a bag. The boys just shake their head's at me, and pretend they aren't with me until we round the corner, the crowd dispersing behind us. No doubt all will have a story tonight.

We limp home, bottles clanging, chocolate smooshing. Even the desk girl a the hotel stared, but she laughed. I think she has seen this before.


Supercenter? I think not.

Who eats a single hot dog, anyway?

Don't Go



Again today, she didn't want us to go. Above, Kaia was putting her down into the playpen she spends almost EVERY waking moment in, sitting with the rest. She was clutching on to Kaia's neck, makes it harder and harder to leave her there. Won't go on with that, but this was goodbye until Tuesday when we can visit again. Tough.

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Friday, April 24, 2009

Special Touch


Today was the Best Day yet. She was so happy, and comfortable with us. It felt great, both Kaia and I left there with these stupid grins on our faces. She acted much more energetic and animated than she has been. It is clear to us, that her passive actions are truly her way of dealing with stress and being scared. Before, she could have fallen asleep so easily, and was so serious and concerned. Today, she was rolling balls, climbing on us, holding her doll and looking through Kaia's bag. Everyone can tell how she is opening up, slowly, to us.

She must have such a story to tell us. I wonder if that is why God made our memories start later? She is so helpless, and trying to figure us out. Why do we keep coming back? Why are there so many meetings with doctors, social workers, and nurses. Why do we stare at her, and keep talking to her, hug and kiss her?

Today, Sylvi wasn't wearing tights with feet for the first time. Kaia lifted her pant leg and stroked her bare leg while she was playing with the Iphone-her favorite thing so far. Music plays on it, and she is so CLOSE to dancing, but too shy for that. So she sat on this big bear foot, when Kaia stroked her leg, this happy look on her face, and stared at Kaia. Sylvi lifted her own pant higher, and just sat there in bliss, kind of smiling with this far-away look.

Touch is something she seems to like. It can be a real bonding element for us 3, and this picture-even though you can't see her face, really tells it all. It was a powerful little moment, and watching it got to me.


Little toddlers, babies, children at any age; they don't belong in an orphanage. Anywhere in the world. No matter how they got there, they each have a secret story of circumstance that they know nothing of. There is a massive baby stampede, walking, crawling, toddling; over to the edge of the playpen to reach out for us whenever we come in to the room. I tussle the kids' hair, shake their outstretched hands, some of them giggle when I whistle to them, or poke their tummys. They are desperate for their turn, for attention, for us just to watch them. But we take Sylvi, and head out to another room. As you leave, you can turn around suddenly, and catch 12 pairs of eyes watching your exit. Some rocking, some sucking their thumbs, playing, or some sitting-but all watching.


Sylvi likes Kaia and I, and she is thinking of us tonight. A worker told us that the kids lay in bed and stare at each other's faces through the bars in the cribs as they fall asleep. Every night, quietly. No crying. No use for that, they learn. For the first time, it seems as though Sylvi is pondering our love for her. I see her face light up when we come to see her. Today, Kaia put her down at the end of our visit, said goodbye, kissed her-she reached up with both hands and threw her little head back to be picked back up. She likes us, to be touched, to feel special for 2 hours. She get's that now.


I'm sure no one has sat and stroked her leg, sat with her, and made her feel like that. It's pretty amazing to witness, to be in that room and see her eyes, her cheeks flush, the tiny smile. All from just a special touch.


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Thursday, April 23, 2009

Back Shots!



Ok-so we decided to start posting a few non-face shots. Here she is; getting all bundled up today to go OUTSIDE for a passport photo at the local photography studio. She was so interested in the action along the drive, sitting in Kaia's lap and watching the world go by! Really something to see-MAN, do they bundle her up! She looked funny in her get-up, at least 5 layers, and sweaty and hot before we could make it out! We took her hat off in the car, and she just sighed in relief.

She is just awesome! Really getting so used to us now, actually-for the first time, didnt' want to go back in the play pen at the end. Holds on to Kaia, and kept reaching for her. Breaks your heart. She doesn't know we'll be back, but I keep telling her so. She is so smily and laughing at the workers, we can't wait for that for us. But-she does totally warm up by the end, I always wish for just a little longer, like 30 more minutes, as we really seem to get along at the end. She never cried today, though. Was serious, but comfortable.

Kind of like dating Kaia, though, for me. I clapped and danced around her, making faces and hooting, and it was on the fourth date she gave me a smile, finally. I keep telling her this. Now look at her. Come so far! She's a dreamer.
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Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Time


All went well today at our Orphanage visit. We are just stuck in Time here, it feels. Waiting, every day, for some word that we could take her 'home' here, at least to the hotel. No such luck-today our agency translator tried to talk some sense into the Director, and absolutely not. Our's is a long wait, as they will enforce the 11-day wait, which falls on a Friday holiday, so the court decree will not get issued until Tuesday, as Monday is another holiday. Good Grief! So, just crazy, we are stuck here for an extra 14 days after court, just to pick her up. Frustrating, but all we can do is wait.

The visit went just great today. She is warming up to both Kaia, and myself. It is really small steps here, she might smile a little easier, or maybe come to you. The smallest little smile, we thrive on. You could hardly see it, but it is there. I am a freak, and will frame-by-frame the video to make sure it was there. Literally. I think that she will give us all something special with those smiles as we progress here. I just wish they were bigger, and know they will be soon. The boys and Glo are being patient, coming all this way and not visiting the O.

Speaking of, I took the boys down to the hoops this morning, but another cold front as moved it with WIND that won't quit. We got down to the court, and didn't even shoot. We snapped a quick pic, and headed back for some checkers inside. The boys were talking about their friends back home, and it being warm (70 or so?) and then our friends in Indonesia, it has been 100 there! We were thinking we were in the coldest spot-supposed to snow today, but it didn't. Actually, it warmed up a bit for our after-orphanage walk up through town. Stopped for Pizza at a true Russian spot, no english menus at all. Just a picture of a pizza on the window. Funny. The boys are getting used to the Rockstar life-as everyone stops and stares when they hear you talking. At least we think it feels like a rockstar-celebrity, but it might be different. Maybe they are plotting on us? The boys noticed a video game here in a store, a war one, that you shoot Russians as the enemy. Hmm. Also-I saw Red Dawn in a video store yesterday. Now is that ironic?

She still makes me crazy with those eyes. Big round blue eyes, that you notice right away. They light up the room when she smiles. I can't wait to post her picture.

Monday, April 20, 2009

COURT!!!



We just got out of Court, where we were officially named as parents, her name was changed to Sylvi Lois DeBoer! We are just thrilled, and relieved that we are through that step. They are extremely strict, however-and we find out that we don't actually get her out of the orphanage until May 5. We were unsure of this, and they are making it tough with the holiday, etc-we have no rights to her until the court 'decree' is issued, 11 days after his ruling today. So we will try and speed it up, but in the meantime visit her daily. No visit today, but tomorrow we will. And continue to try and get the boys and Glo there.

This picture was taken just a few moments after the decision, when we walked out of the courthouse.

We are so happy-a major milestone passed here!
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No Fairy Tale




Today was another good day. We got up this morning and went to play Basketball with the new ball we bought at a sports store. I don't think bball is too popular here, but there are hoops around, but no nets, and mos the rims are torn down. But we found a nice set about a block from the hotel, in some housing complex. We we got up early and went to play, with kids walking by staring at us, on their way to school. They would stop and stare, then walk around the corner-to sneak back and holler 'Hello', and then laugh and run. We yelled "hello" back, and after a while a few of the bravest ones came back to watch and laugh at our game. They clapped and laughed when the boys would dribble and shoot, thought it was something else that they could handle the ball. After a bit, I went over and asked if they spoke English, and the oldest girl did a tiny bit-they learn it in school here and are anxious to try it out. I invited them to play, and they quickly threw down their bags and coats and we made teams. Was pretty funny-they don't play much I can tell, but we had fun and they were cheering and it was a good game. We made the gang late for school, I think, but got a quick pic before they ran off. Was Fun!

Sylvi was great today, warming up a bit more to both of us. Still not as she was before, she has clearly lost the innocent happiness she had before as a baby. Now, as a young toddler, she is very aware of new things. Kaia, me as a man, the quiet of our room we go to be alone with her in. All of it scares her. And that is ok, we know this. We again snuck in to catch her playing with her group, and while she is quiet, at least she is comfortable and playing with them. Turns so serious when she sees us, a bit of recognition, but no romance or love at all, more concern and solemn looks. We go over-board to get a smile; sing, dance, laugh, act goofy, the whole bit. But not much reward, maybe a slight smile now and then. I saw her new teeth once in 3 visits, when she let a big smile slip out while throwing her up in the air. That is fine-we saw today some more advances. She loved my Iphone, the pictures and music. I showed her the boys and family, our dog. She liked to slide her fingers on the screen and flip pages, and did that for an hour, not letting it go. She is slight and small, but she has an 'Orphanage Grip' and hands like a Halibut Rail Man. She could break fingers with you any day, Alf. I think the group learns this early to keep a toy they like.

So, it is a hard feeling to describe. I got sad when I saw a picture of her, on my Iphone, laughing so hard back in December. I feel that so much has passed by, making it all the harder on her, and us, now that she is older. It makes you angry-the system that you cannot get around. But this wasn't meant to be easy, and we kept telling ourselves that we had to be prepared for the tough parts.

I'm finding it eery, and un-nerving to look into the eyes of the others when we go to the room she is in. They stare, wave, cry and hold there hands out to me, for a touch or to be swept-up. It is a strange feeling, like they are betrayed by me, for not picking them. I must not be the only one-the orphanage director does not allow parents into the general living area usually, for reasons like these. There is nothing criminal going on, no law being broken or human rights being violated. Just toddlers that are unwanted; and they don't know it. But they can't understand why She get's the toy, why She goes with us each day. And that is spooky for me.

Today at the end, before I set her down, back with the group; I whispered in her ear, that we are taking her home-and that I love her. She doesn't know this-or what it means. She looks at me and furrows her brow, so serious. She is home. Sylvi can't foresee the sadness that her group faces. They are on this path; too old for much chance of getting adopted, and yet growing more comfortable with the institution life every night. One day, they will wish to be adopted like Sylvi, but I don't know what age that is. I don't care to. Right now, this is what they know. The rows of beds, the playpen, the food, drink, naps, potties, smells; and the sound of continual crying. At least this is the constant to them. Not the people, or the adults. They come and go.

In December, it would have been a bit easier to change Sylvi's pattern, a bit more naivete and trust. But, it is May when we take her away. And May might be a tough month for all of us. I cringe to think of her sadness leaving the "Baby Home". How strange to go away with us: outside, a car, airport, plane, food, bath, the world. But, I guess, the great news is, we don't have to wait for her to want to be taken. This would take too long, so we go the hard way, and better off in the end.

I'm not a big short-story person, anyway. I prefer a longer book, and I like the deeper movies that take 3 hours or more. (I didn't think 'Australia' was going to end on the flight here, but what a story!)

So, I think now; No visions of a short fairy-tale anymore with our Sylvi, but a longer, deeper, happy story. I can't wait!

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Sunday, April 19, 2009

Some More Picnic Shots




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Nature and Fiodor




Today, our Russian friend (of a friend) Fiodor, that lives here came and picked us up and took us on a 'Nature' (Picnic) out in the woods, with his family and friends. Completely Amazing-really nice people, huge food spread, easter cakes, fire, drink, eggs, games and so funny! Hundreds of people go out in the 'wood' outside of the town, and set up random gatherings by there cars and have picnics, all over. I mean ALL OVER. You can see other 'picnics' through the trees in every direction, playing music, games, eating, etc. We got a grand tour on the way, showing us farms, outlaying buildings, history, etc. We brought our baseball gloves and ball, and they thought that was very strange, and all of them tried it for the first time. Very funny. Only Fiodor spoke english, but everyone was so nice and friendly, courteous. They took us to the Far Eastern Zoo after we packed up the picnic, really neat adventure there, too. All of them came, 3 Russian families escorting us around looking at the animals. Tigers, Bears, Bobcats, Wolf, Stag, Polar Bear, and more. Really amazing.

We learned so much about Sylvi's birth town, and it was so incredible for the boys and us to experience that-to see a special easter day with good weather, and what they do for fun here. Really neat, thanks Karen for setting that up for us.

So we didn't get to see Her today, but are looking forward to tomorrow. I kept thinking about her today, hoping she is well on her easter, wondering if she get's any special cake or eggs? I doubt it. Tomorrow we practice for court also, all the 'correct' answers to give the judge on Tuesday.

It is funny. The more time you spend here, it kind of grows on you. I understand the people a bit more, and what is going on around us. Fiodor was a big help in explaining the customs, behaviors, attitudes, etc. It really is beautiful, and lot's of Pride in some things.


We are looking forward to another orphanage visit tomorrow.


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Saturday, April 18, 2009

Plunge and Scrub




We are having a fun Russian Easter. Went and found a basketball hoop, took the new ball and played three games. Got quite a few stares out the buildings on either side, kids stopping and watching. Don't think they play too much ball, or could have been the english talk.




Nice day here, actually Glo knows a person here in Khab, and called him finally a few minutes ago. He and his family aare coming 'right over' as they said they knew we were to be here and waiting our call. So that will be interesting. (thanks for connecting us with Fiodor, Karen) They have actually been to Petersburg visiting, so will be fun to know someone 'local' here.




You know what is a nice luxury? A clothes dryer. It is plunge and scrub in the shower, which is no big deal, but then ringing them out and drying them on lines strung all over is interesting. Kaia is getting the hang of it, though. Laura Ingals in the making here. Today she actually put on a big dress she made from the curtains, put her hair up in a bun, and is trying to catch a stray chicken for dinner. Quite a sight to behold. Plunge and Scrub, Baby.




Better go-sounds like she's caught the chicken and yelling for her knife and a cigarette.




Out in Sunny Khab






Great Day Today. Visited Her today for 2 hours, just Kaia and I, still no break on the quarantine for the boys and Glo to visit. She was great today-totally recognized us and smiled. We walked right into her living area this time, for the first time, and caught the whole gang on the 'potties'. Pretty funny-all of them in a circle in the middle of this room, sitting and looking at each other. Snuck a classic shot of them. Sylvi had her back to us, and peered around and broke into a big smile. We hang on every smile she gives us, so that was a great thing. We played with her up in the public room, and she is so shy. Quite a bit more shy of me than last time, she is older we figure-of course, and cried for the first time with us today. Which was good, but such a pathetic little cry. She has had a pretty tough life, you figure-with no one to depend on, and is nervous and anxious about strangers, caregivers leaving her with us, and any new situation. Poor thing. We totally see that, and try SO hard to make her feel our love. So far, she feels my love like a steamroller. A little too much. I tried to calm down and sit away today, but I'm like an addict, and reaching for her to play and she get's a little scared. Oh well-there will be plenty of time soon for me to win her over. She is Momma's girl right now. Smiles are still few and far between, it is almost like she is in shock of our attention. It's all going to be ok, though. We are so happy.

Really warmed up here, I bet it was close to 55 or so? Went out on a walk after a sweet dinner in that Glo made. Walked through Lenin Square, down to the Amur River, break-up is any day now, I guess-it was partially clear already, but the ice is getting ready to flush out. Gorgeous parks, a river walk, cathedrals, statues, War Memorial wall with a big flame and names, fancy shops. We even found a Basketball at the Sports Store of some sort-boys are thrilled with that, as there are actually a few hoops around. Most kids seem to use the courts for handball or soccer though, but we are ready to hoop it up tomorrow.

We don't get to see her tomorrow, Easter here. Supposed to be nice again, so looking forward to some ball and fun.

Miss everyone, thanks for all your comments and emails. We are looking forward to getting some pictures on here after our court and 10 days are up.

Anyway-Happy Easter!

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Friday, April 17, 2009

Meeting Day











We met her today-Wow! She has grown, she can walk with some help from a hand, and is getting so big. She was good-so pretty in her dress, looked all big to us. We were so happy to spend 2 hours with her, and no-she didn't remember us, but we played and got her to open up a bit. She is a bit more reserved now, compared to 4 months ago-I guess that makes sense, she is older and looked a little nervous about us. We get to see her again tomorrow, same time.








The boys and Glo wont' get to visit her in the orphanage, it sounds like now-which is a real bummer for us all. We argued the best we could, through our translator, but the director is a real grouch, and adamant about the quarantine. Strange.








They explored a bit, Glo and the boys, while we were gone. Found a little store that sells cool toy guns, and detergent. Found a basketball hoop, a real one, outside-and now are on a mission to buy a ball to hoop it up. We brought the baseball and gloves, also. Warming up a bit, although still in the 20's and windy, a little warmer in the sun. Supposed to be warming up, though.








Spring hasn't hit here, still no green or buds anywhere, but will change soon I think.








Anyway-will update some more tomorrow, sorry for the late post tonight. The internet is sketchy here, at best-and was down all afternoon.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Turning Normal into Special


As I sit here this morning, excited to see her for the first time in 4 months, I can’t stop thinking about how anonymous her life has been. Not to her, but to all the rest of us, in our terms. To her it’s ‘normal’.


This trip is the culmination of thousands of hours of work, time, money and prayer for us, and others that have helped. Starting 14 months ago for her, and us. She was born and put in an orphanage, never visited by anyone. Pretty normal where she is right now. Kaia and I felt the need to adopt, strangely enough the same week she was born. We started the mountain of paperwork, home study, phone calls, classes, dossiers, trips, medical checkups and interviews. So much, it was daunting, and we gave up a few times. But we kept going, kept hoping and praying that there was some baby out there, meant special for us.


All for this normal little girl that sits, alone in an orphanage crib this morning as the sun comes up. She might be awake, just a few blocks away, thinking her thoughts. Waiting for her turn to be picked up and fed and changed, then set down to roll around in the all-too familiar playpen area with the others. Two naps a day, just to pass time. 4 dishes of ‘food’ a day, always in a rush. 4 cups of juice or water, again-the same. Cared-for, but that is all. Nothing special.


She has no way of knowing this morning, when we see her in 6 hours, or tomorrow, or next week when we take her with us-what a special girl she is. How we think and pray about her, about her closet of clothes at home. Her own room repainted with her specal color, a happy tree, her furniture, quilts, bed, dresser, toys-just for her. Just for her, and for us to show her how special she is. We are desperate for her to know our love, to feel how much she matters to us. I have been feeling trapped, unable to do anything for her, and her thoughts and feelings. That is about to change, if only for two hours today, then tomorrow when she meets her brothers, then her Aunt, and then you, and so on. That she is Special.


Someday Sylvi will read this, and be as struck as I am this morning, of how awesome of a story this is-her story and our story. But for now, she’s thinking, “The sun is coming up. I’m waiting to be picked up, by someone, anyone, this morning. Change my diaper and feed me. Smile at me, maybe if I clap and giggle again, you will laugh before setting me down.”


Soon that will change. She won’t remember us today; it’s been 4 months. But, tomorrow she will. I promise that. And tomorrow she’ll feel Special.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

The Good, the Bad, and the ......

We Made It! We arrived in Khabarovsk at 8 am this morning, after our long trip 'against the grain', flying the long way to Siberia. All travels went well, our translator and drivers met us at the airport, and we are in our little apartment here setting up camp.
We had hoped to see her today, and get to introduce her to the boys and Glo, but ; we won't be seeing her today at all. Instead, they wanted us to get a head-start on our medical re-evaluations since the ones we did before expired at 90 days. Bummer.
So we just walked in the door-and we passed all our medicals in a record two hours and 6 stops. (In December it took 3 days) Everything went fine, all the questions from scars, etc were not brought up this time for some reason-and we just got it all stamped and done.
So-GREAT news there.

But-now we just learned that there is a Quarantine at the orphanage, so the boys and Glo do NOT get to meet her tomorrow-just Kaia and I will be visiting her for two short hours. Then, maybe-they get to go outside on Saturday (the next day) and the boys 'might' get to meet her then, only outside while her group goes on a walk. (I know; a Walk? Can she walk? We feel so distant and removed from her. Nobody has any news about her, how she is, milestones, etc. Tomorrow will be a BIG day to find out stuff!) They are very strict about this 'Quarantine' (something about Menangitis?), and we dont' know how long it will last. Ugh. The boys are bummed with this news, as they were excited to finally meet her, as was Glo.
We will take a Ton of pics tomorrow again, and be able to show them at least. Also on Saturday, then we dont' see her on Sunday.

Oh well. We knew we had to be flexible, but this is a bit of a disappointment for all of us.

Anyway-better get going-get the boys outside and take a walk to the grocery store. The nerf hoop is up and getting banged on pretty good right now. We will update again soon!

Monday, April 13, 2009

44 Pounds

We are so Excited and Nervous to be going, Finally! It is daunting-the trip will take 22 hours in the air: We leave at 4 in the morning Tuesday, from our house on Camano-and arrive in Khab at 8am Thursday! We are gearing up for a serious amount of Jet Time for all 5 of us.

We (Kaia) have been packing for a week; it is hard to fit everything you need for several weeks of living, into 22 pounds of Stuff, or 44 Pounds per suitcase. Yikes! It will be like Frontier Living, with 2 pairs of pants per week!

It seems like it has been just FOREVER since we have seen her-and it has. We don't expect her to remember us, but do expect to win her over quickly again. We hope she has been healthy and growing, as we haven't had any updates. She has been on our minds constantly-to the point of obsessing over pictures and videos.

Anyway-we will be updating as we can, will set up over there and hope to see her Thursday at the orphanage.

Off to Siberia!

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Court Date Assigned!


WE just heard!! April 21st is our Court Date with the Judge, which means we will leave on Tues the 14th, and should be back sometime the first part of May, hopefully!

We are really excited, although it is a week later than we had hoped for, also-there is a Russian Freeking Holiday again for 10 days in the first week of May, that we are hoping to skate around somehow, or in part.

Anyway-we are getting our travel plans ready, really just so excited to see her, and get her as soon as we can. At least we are moving forward, with no more docs needed from the court!


We are counting down the days now!